The benefits of sports for children are tremendous. Children participating in sports are not only physically more active (which is especially important for health), they also learn responsibility, how to listen with respect (coaching), how to work with others, and physically what their own bodies can and can not do. And guess what?! Kids love to play! Of course, there will be personal preferences. One child may want to participate in baseball, another dance, and still another soccer. Some children may want to participate in several sports, others just one. What a great set-up! Sports are not only good for kids, but kids love to play!

So what happens to children in sports? Why is it that some children go on to high ranking teams, and even the Olympics? Why is it that other children shrink away or learn (and I did say learn) to dislike sports. Well folks, you don't need to look any further. Yes, that is right, ADULTS are the key here. As an adult, you have a choice to foster your child's athlete skills or create so much stress that kids can be burned-out on a particular sport by age nine. I realize that there is no greater thrill than seeing your offspring on a winning team, take the gold in a skating competition, or being invited to participate on an elite team. And let's face it, not only are you happy for your child but there is also a personal pride that takes place. After all, it was YOUR child who succeeded.

First, let's discuss kids and sports. All kids will have their own personal preferences and these will often change in time. A child who initially loves baseball may or may not continue that passion after a couple of years. Don't be surprised if she or he begins to like soccer better. Changing sport preferences is normal. If your child continues to play the same sport for several years, that's great!! If not, that's o.k. too. Changing preferences is part of learning how to grow up. Not only that, but bodies change. Growth spurts can often impact a child's ability to participate in a sport. Adjusting to suddenly longer legs and arms can challenge any child's physical abilities. Equally important, as a child develops, he may find that it is physically easier and more pleasurable to race around a track instead of participating in gymnastics.

Not only does a child's choice of a particular sport reflect their physical condition, but also their psychological state. Some children prefer individual sports (figure skating, weight lifting), others, team sports such as baseball or soccer, and others contact sports such as wrestling. Of course, there are also children who are so painfully shy that any exhibition sports are difficult to participate in. These children may prefer horse back riding or dirt bike racing. Whatever the sport, the most important factor is for your child to perceive that their chosen sport is FUN and that their primary goal is not only to do their best but to have FUN in the process.

Why is the concept of fun so important? First of all, if something is perceived as fun, a child will want to participate and learn all that they can about the sport (we call it intrinsic motivation in psychology). Secondly, the more a child enjoys a sport, the more they will want to do it. This leads to greater physical activity, better health, and often times better self-esteem.

Participation in sports also provides a great example of important life lessons. For example, it takes practice and patience to improve a set of skills. To encourage a child to take the time, learn about their sport, practice to improve their performance, have fun, and do the best that they can, is a tremendous life-lesson that can be used throughout adulthood. For example, learning a new job or even having a healthy relationship involves practice, patience, fun, and an open-mindness to learn new skills.

Sports also teaches a child how to win and lose. Losing is not necessarily a negative situation. Losing a game or competition allows a child to learn and hopefully focus on the fun of having played the sport. Apolo Ohno (an Olympic speed skater) once said that it is not just about winning, it is about the journey. Every great athlete looses. It is what you do with the loss that really counts. This is a tremendous lesson that transcends into other areas of life. It took Thomas Edison over 2,000 attempts to create the light bulb. When asked about these failures, Mr. Edison said that there were no failures, just 2,000 learning opportunities.

While the goal in sports is often to win, to win every time creates a false sense of reality. Just as important is to know how to become a good winner. A good winner is one who does not brag about the win, especially to players who have lost. A good winner will also become sensitive to the feelings of the individuals who have lost, congratulate them for a good game/race, and not believe that winning is their birth-given right. A good winner will also realize that they can not take winning for granted and that they still need to practice and perform.

Now for the adults. Parents/adults have tremendous influence in their children's life. This is particularly true with regards to sports. It's up to you to use your influence in a helpful manner, All you have to do is to attend a game and often you will see a variety of parental styles. For example: the parent that yells at their child to run faster, hit stronger and ridicules their child if their performance is a bit off is scary at the very least. At a recent speed skating event a dad yelled to his son "skate faster or I will get you Barbie skates, because that is what you skate like, you're skating like a girl" (I won't even begin to address the putting down a girl part). His son began to even skate slower and his face turned bright red from embarrassment. Not only did the dad's behavior worsen his son's performance, it also highly embarrassed him and detracted any enjoyment away from the race.

Another example of parental misconduct is to yell (or swear) at the referees/umpires and/or coach, or worse yet, make fun of other players. Let's not even dare forget the parents who end up in a brawl with one another. Whatever your feelings are, it is up to you to be an adult. That means to act like an adult; an adult with good manners that is. These are kids playing a game after all. Kids that are learning about themselves, their bodies, and sports. No matter the intensity of the game, each one of the players will get older and only a small percentage will go on to a professional level. A baseball game at age 11 will not determine the rest of your child's life.

It is also extremely important to not live your own life through your child. The consequences on kids who did not make a professional level or the Olympics by age 24 is profound. To have a person think of themselves as a "failure" or "washed up" by the mid-twenties is inexcusable. Even if your child makes it to this level, no matter how good he or she is at a sport, at some point in time, their performance will decline. The greatest gift you can provide for a child is to let them know all the other reasons that they are tremendous kids in addition to sports.

The rules are simple:

• Encourage your child to have fun in a sport
• As an adult, mind your manners
• Remember, this is your child’s life; not re-living your own past
• Find non-physical qualities to gush over in your child.
• Ask your child how they feel about a game or a race; and LISTEN to their answer
• Get to know your child’s coach (good or bad coach)
• Encourage your child to do the best that he or she can. That is all that anyone can ask. Not everyone is physically adept like Michael Jordan or Lance Armstrong. Professional athletes are really the exception, not the norm.